2007 Application
Real-
and Nick-Name____________________________________
DOB & Age on 2/22/07______________
Address/City/State/Zip______________________________
_______________________________________
Scrub
Run? Yes (Day 1) (Day 2), No
way, (Maybe and I will let
you know cuz this would be the highlight of my year)
E-Mail
Address____________________________________
Phone: Day Time_________Night Time________
Tell us what you learned over the years while participating in Coyote Four
Play
(more points if you can make it rhyme and you tell us about the intimate moments
on the trail):
__________________________________________________________________________________
Sizeè Shirt: S M L XL Jacket: S M L XL Hat: S M L XL
Women’s Cami XS S M L XL Men’s Boxer Size S M L XL XXL
Color choices will be made available to you near when entries will be due.
Do you
use Dirty Girl Gaiters? If so what size do you want? Medium or Large
# Add’l Meals: Thursday (@ $15____
Friday (@ $15) _____ Saturday (@ $15) _____
Sunday (@ $6) ____
Total
Amount enclosed with this entry (Entry & Additional Meals):
** You should all have your bowling shirts so they are not included below...if you need a bowling shirt contact the RDs
You’ll get 3 apparel
items; - $275
$___________
You’ll get 1 shirt - $225 (and miss
out on some great Patagonia stuff)
$___________
Additional Meals (totaled from
above)
$___________
Total payable to Howard Cohen
$
Mail it to: Howard Cohen, 4573 Via Grande, Newbury Park, CA 91320
WAIVER (go ahead, be a waver and wave at the form, just to be goofy) (Of course this is small print. Read it anyway….) Since you guys let me into this idiocy, me, myself and I, intending to be legally bound (your choice of handcuffs or leather straps), do hereby pour moi, my heirs/hairs, executors/expletives and administrators/admenstruators, and any other dipweed clueless enough to think s/he should get a piece of the action, waive (…you know you want to wave again…) and release forever any and all rights, claims and clams of damage I may accrue (read, self-inflicted whack job) against any and all sponsors and poseurs of this event, the Virginia Happy Trails Running Club, its administrators and volunteers, the head armadildo** (I meant armadillo!!) and his ass-a-dildo**, the California Department of Parks and Recreation, the USDA Forest Service, and assigns and assinines and assitwelves and assiforties from any and all injuries suffered by me once I start moseying to or from or while abusing myself in this event. I attest that I am physically fit (bwa-a-a Ha!!Ha!! that’s a laugher…) and have no friggin’ idea what malediction, execration or Thunders of the Vatican (huh?) await me (but what the hell, here’s my money and my soul, so bring it on!!) and I pwomise not to bwame the wace (hey, wait, this isn’t a wace, it’s just a fun wun) ahmadiwos and vohwunteahs for what I could have foreseen. Should I faceplant, perfect a 3 point landing, cause myself an owie, execute a similarly mortifying gymnastic fo’ paw, or suffer any other such trail troll perfidy worthy of more than a cartoon-emblazoned bandaid, I’m responsible for schlepping my own sorry ass in search of more expert medical assistance. To participate, I accept all rules and conditions, and will comply with them, regardless how much I set myself up for embarrassment and ridicule. I grant Bruce (no, wait, he’s one of the guys playing…) I give y’all my unqualified permission to use any photographs or other recordings even slightly revealing how much I’ll debase myself among fellow runners, as long as whatever you use doesn’t directly appear on some porn site and/or get showcased on late night or daytime TV mockery shows. As a part of this waiver (come on, wave one last time…), I acknowledge that I have read and understood enough of the above to sign my life away to your whims (geez, I know in a decade or two I’m going to deny or conveniently forget any association to this goofiness). I also recognize that sometime during the weekend, I should shmooze one or all of the JABOYs to gain their favor, in hopes I’ll win one of their really spiffy awards. And while I can’t promise how classy I’ll look in whatever I choose to wear, I do promise to wear something...
________________________________________________________________________________________
Sign and Date (If under 18, you can’t participate. This is
only for adult ninnies, not juvenile ones))
Consistent with prior years, feel free to
use the back of your entry to doodle or create another form of
obnoxiously relevant humor. But wait!!, there’s more: for the Final Year, we
have a special contest!! Find yourself some Play-Dough (“doh!!”?) or similarly
malleable clay’ey substance, and sculpt something that reflects anything that
would remind or suggest C4P’s themes. Your sure-to-be-profound artistic
rendition will be displayed on the tables at Thursday night dinner. The
assembled masses will vote on winners in each category. The categories, the one
of which best describes your talent’s scope, include Infantile, Senile or Penile
(or its feminine counterpart – hey!! it’s more figurative than literal, so if
you contemplate other than an impressionist rendering (I mean, seriously, if you
were that good, you wouldn’t be devoting your life to so much running, now would
you?) of a Mapplethorpe or Flynt, you may expect the Sculpting Scalper to
“moderately adjust” your soon-to-be-displayed-at-the-Getty work of art)(now,
where was I?...). Should you not be able to resist such doh!-play, you must
declare your sculpting category to King Tsk-Tsk (if you can’t figure that one
out, you probably don’t belong at C4P) before arriving for the weekend’s
self-abuse. As in other years, your chances of winning something valuable for
this contribution exceed those you might otherwise gain for your running
performance (unless you want to be in contention for The Weenie Wienie Award).